last dayz

since.. last kong entry na ang last will n testament.. ito po ang new blog nmin.. nina Jay V at KJ....

http://newmorningz.blogspot.com/

ayan.. new blog nmin.....

link nyo ha! link din nmin kau!! ^___^ paalam

My tears ended with tears.

The dagger that was pulled out was struck again to my chest

How can this be?

Do I really deserve being hurt all over again?

________________________

 

I said goodbye

I believe it ended well

No regrets, no bitterness, no sadness

The friendship was left unhurt.

_________________________

But you were still not satisfied

You wanted something more

You wanted a dramatic ending

So here it goes

You hurt me again, HAPPY?

___________________________

 Does loving you can be so painful?

Does thinking of you can be this horrible?

Don’t you want me to be happy?

Can you think of something else rather than yourself and your lover?

_______________________

Yes, I am now harsh

I am bitter

You pushed me to be like this.

I never thought that this story would end this way.

__________________________

I hate you.

I never thought that you could do this to me

I never thought that you would not respect me

I never thought that you could hurt me this way

_____________________________

Forget the past,

I regret that I trusted you

Don’t worry; I’m not like you.

for I still  respect you

____________________________

 I won’t stoop to your level 

I still trust you. (How stupid!)

You have treasured two things that made me respect you.

But I believe that you were just lucky.

____________________________

 Have you ever lied to me?

Have you ever lied to yourself that you don’t love me?

If you answer yes to these questions then you can forget me

I still hold this proof that you can never lie to me

(or can you?)

____________________________________

I know that you lied so many times to your friends

I know because I’m not blind

But I strongly believe that you haven’t lied to me

It’s more than enough

____________________________________

 I know that you didn’t intend to hurt me

But you did it anyway

I think Jay V was right

He stayed there because he knew that I can’t hurt you.

 **********************************************

Buti nlng nandun saya.. alam nyang paligoy ligoy lng ang lahat.. Alam niyang madadala ako ulit. Alam kong naguguluhan ka, alam niyang iintindihin nanaman kita. Tama sya na prinanka ka na niya, para hindi nako umasa. Dun naman patungo yun diba? Kahit ilang siglo pa kita intindihin, sa kanya parin ang bagsak mo. Hindi mo ko kaya ipaglaban. Hndi mo kaya magsakripisyo para sa mga tao sa paligid mo, kahit nga magulang at Diyos nagawang kalimutan diba? Tama nga sila Hindi ka deserving. Ang tanga ko talaga, kilala ko na nga, ang mga taong TUNAY na nagmamahal sa akin, pinipilit ko parin ang imposible, ang ayaw. Umaasa parin ako. Ikaw naman, makasarili. Kung may natira ka pang pagmamahal sakin, hindi mo dapat nagawa sa akin ito! Leche! Binasag mo pa katahimikan ko. Dapat hinayaan mo nalang ako! Masaya nako eh! Pinipilit ko nang maging masaya pero ayaw mong maging masaya ako. Isa lang naman yan eh, makasama ka o makakilala ng iba. Hindi pwede manatili ako sa gitna, dun sa “ASA” zone. Sinasaktan ko lang ang sarili ko at sigurado akong maraming tao ang maapektuhan. Hindi ko kaya maging tulad mo, ung kayang apakan lahat ng tao para lang sa pinagmamalaki mong paninindigan. Hindi ko kaya saktan ang mga taong nagmamahal sa akin d tulad mo. Ang tagal na naming nanatili sa tabi mo at umaasang masasagip ka pero gusto mo lang talaga malunod. Niloloko mo lang ang sarili mo, mahiya ka sa magulang mo! Sawang sawa nko!  lagi nalang ako umiiyak. Akala ko pa naman nandito ka lang sa tabi ko, akala ko kahit anung mangyari hindi ka aalis? Mababali mo ba yun? Kahit mahal pa kita, kahit kaibigan pa kita dapat mahalin ko naman sarili ko. Kung ikaw, masyado mo minahal sarili mo, masyado ko namang minahal ang ibang tao, nakalimutan ko na ang sarili ko. Kinamumuhian kita pero mas nagagalit ako sa sarili ko dahil may bahagi parin sa katauhan ko na iniisip ka. Ayaw kong masira ng isang katulad mo ang buhay ko, hindi ka karapat dapat. Kahit magpakamatay ka sa harap ko, hindi parin sapat. Masyado mo na akong sinaktan, ang masama pa doon paunti unti mo akong sinaksak. Ibinaon mo ng husto ang kutsilyong hawak mo, at noong tinanggal ko ay ibinaon mo ulit mismo sa sugat na hindi pa naghihilom. Mahirap ngang magmahal ng sobra.

Nagsisi ako at nakilala pa kita sana hindi ka nalng bumalik dahil noong nawala ka masaya naman ako. Masaya ka na ba? Ito na ang ending. Pinaabot mo tlga sa puntong kailangang magalit na ako sa sayo. Hindi ka nakuntento maging kaibigan ko. Gusto mo talaga kaaway. Ibibigay ko sau ang gusto mo.

The feelings are still there, it can never be erased

But it can be forgotten

I’m still here

The same person you met 4 yrs ago

____________________________________________________

 

The trust is still there

You can break it so I won’t hold on anymore

There is still love

But I’ll do my best to forget all the memories

__________________________________

 

I will wait for your return

I will still open all doors

I will welcome new opportunities

I will face my new life

______________________________________

  I will wait but again, these doors are not only meant for you

But for my new life as well

I hope someday, when you wake up from your dream

You can still find me at the same spot were you left me.

_____________________________________

  Goodbye!! Paalam! Sayonara!!

Ingat sa tatahakin nyong daan..

Bumalik kayo ha!

Au revoir!

Wow!

A nice start for my December!! ^_^

 Whew! Many things happened this past months and I know that I deserve a break… True.. true …true..

_________________________________________________

(trip to baguio)

_________________________________________________

While on the bus… I was in a very bad state…

I was seated on the back of the bus. It was very dull, gloomy and sad. The atmosphere was very heavy.

It was because I said goodbye to sum1 very dear to me…

I was crying.

But I know joining the YMCA was one of the best decisions I made in my entire life..

When we were in the zigzag road, I was seated near a friend and we had a talk…

I said, “Take this trip as a week of reflection”

(hmm…. I was also telling that to myself.. hehe)

*********************************************** 

These past days were great!

I met new friends and became a rapporteur of our commission!

I get to hang out with my batch mates and exchange stories with them.

Also, I was given a chance to be with my old friends.. Hmm.. They were still the same…. I was so happy because there was no dull moment in my stay….

I was also the editor-in-chief of the newslette of YMCA (1^st issue)

I regret that I forgot to bring a heater.. (the water was so cold ..grr..)

I regret that I didn’t have enough sleep (because of the newslette and resolution)

But it was really fun!!

I was able to think straight. I was able to realize that I CAN move on….

_________________________________________________

Hmm… Now, I’m very happy because I was able to lose my grip. I’m moving forward and I’m grateful that God gave me another chance to be happy.

Every night, I ask his help to guide my friends to the right path. I pray that I may see the light.

I’m still hoping that he’ll answer my prayers..

I will open all doors…all opportunities and new challenges.

But these doors are still open for my past.

Yes, I am still waiting..

But the difference from yesterday and today is that these doors are not only for my past but for my present and future as well.

New friends!! New life!!

I am no longer locked in a box!

Hurray!!

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Kasi namn eh.. pamove on na.. may nagparamdam pa.. hehe…

Joke!!

Now that I’m moving forward, are you willing to catch up?

 
Pero dahil sa Baguio

I beginning to be grateful that this is happening..

God is making my last year in Masci unforgettable. Even if I am no longer attending my classes, it seems like everyday is a new adventure. (wow.. optimistic na!)

I was appointed property custodian for the boys and girls week and it really sucks because no. 1 rule is that we’re not allowed to attend our classes. There comes my 1^st week of December.. hehe.. We have another journalism contest next month making my December very hectic because of choir, newspaper and training.

Yes, this is a challenge.

I maybe the same person but with the challenges that I faced

I became stronger….

Better… ^____^

Chow!!

nandito pics sa ymca... galing cam ko!! ^_^  http://albumtown.com/lastdayz